Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
