i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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