this will be a night to untag.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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