He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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