Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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