HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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