also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
