he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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