Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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