Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
