is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
