do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it's like iHOP with fire
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
