Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
