Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
