I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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