this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
3pm strippers are depressing
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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