so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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