shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
