You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
