Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I will be naked everywhere
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
