My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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