god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
