Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
