Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
