You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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