Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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