Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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