who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
