you guys were way drunker than both of me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
