You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
