my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
