If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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