I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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