i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
barbara walters just said penis...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
