For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
