At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
and you fell through a lawn chair
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
