Four minutes until I can fart!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
