DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
