oh god the rape fog is back!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My ATM looks so different sober.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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