let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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