so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
