I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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