12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
