May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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