she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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