Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
