that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize