Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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