your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
