mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
