i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
