Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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