bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize