non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
