We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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