Porn is love you can see.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
