therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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