He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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