how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
