So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
