Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
