He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
