Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
