kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
