shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
