I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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