bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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