I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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